Thursday, June 30, 2011

This LIttle Thing Called Love From a Runaway Bride

How many times I run from a ring. Now I wonder if I did say to one of them.
To the first one I thought who had love me for a long time. Just asking for my approval sharing life with him earlier than the usual sacrament, for the first time i said no. I was escaping at that time. I was escaping from reaching the man of my dreams. At the end, he gave up on me for the 4th time..and again and again... i lost him for the last time. But I never realized it at that time..
My journey never took a long time and I see myself meeting new people and some old who is coming back. I tried to give myself a chance to open my heart with those who are willing. I waited. I waited with a dangerous mind. I learned to play with what is at hand. I mixed all emotions and dreams  I have had.
With those playful and dreadful predicament, I just say no to those who came even they got ring. Two birds with the same year. I turned them down and I never even cared what they feel.
There's something else I wanted to feel...and it's this little thing they called love. I want to get the ring, my dream and this little thing. I want it in one package. I feel sorry for myself coz with them I mentioned, this little thing didn't come.
My journey continues and I learned to expand my world; meeting a total stranger. It was the time I thought I got the package. And I was delighted with a great surprised! The package I was looking for came. It was until now, the most romantic event in my life...and yes I accepted the ring.
I almost have it all but it was sudden. I got the twist. I am not the one he is looking for. My life tumbled, churned and all the pain I caused with those I rejected came back to me three times painful.
Somebody helped me picked up those broken pieces. I smiled..I laughed once again. Yes, many came but this tough one made me half crazy. I have wanted to leave all the worries behind and enjoy. I insisted to take the risk eventhough I know it seems impossible.
But something happened that I never ever forget...he's even far from what I am looking for...
I can't comprehend and even can't control what is going on...
Now, here I am seeing myself...waiting..hoping Not to RUN AGAIN. 

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